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Most of you know, I love Ryan Seacrest. I listen to his morning radio show almost every morning. He always has a question/topic he discusses for the morning in which callers call in to comment. I swear, Ryan and I, could solve all the problems of the world together; do you tell a friend her lover is cheating, bleach or high lifting your highlights, how to let your girlfriend know her fashion sense is killing your social life, etc.
Well, the hot topic this week got "my undies in a bunch" - for lack of better term. There was recently the birth of octuplets here in southern California and one of the Doctors from the hospital called in to talk about childbirth. Ryan, not being a father, but being a caring man non-the-less (love you Ryan) asked the question:
Q.During labor and delivery is it good for the husband to be in the room for moral support?
This Doctor answered:
A. Back in the day fathers used to wait in the waiting room and not actively participate in the childbirth experience. It is his opinion that the high rate of infidelity and divorce are a direct correlations to the fact that fathers now watch the mothers give birth and are unfaithful because they have seen the female anatomy distorted and no longer find their spouse attractive.
Huh?!?!
Where do I begin?
He actually said that he has done research on the phenomenon. Hmmm?
Really?
Seriously?
And would you believe the calls started rolling in from people who supported his theory?
If there aren't enough attacks on the family, now people actually think that the miracle of birth is something shameful. Something gross. Something that may make your spouse not want you or love you?
Okay - let me hear it? What do you think? Do you agree, or are you as disgusted as I am? Epecially you men out there - represent.
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21 comments:
that is pretty sad...I think most men would claim that they find their wives more beautiful and amazing after witnessing the miracle of the birth of a child.
Did they bring up the point that men can't remember anything...scienctifically proven that their brain is wired differently. So I seriously doubt as they are cheating they even remember childbirth. If I remembered EVERYTHING I would never let him touch me again.
That is just wrong! Really, who does this guy think he is. Is he an OBGYN? Cause if so I would advise he stick with the end that he is familiar with and let the psychologists worry about the other end.
Direct quote from Ronnie when asked what he thought, "you have never been more beautiful."
I'm with you on this one. Blaming divorce on the miracle of childbirth seems quite desperate to me. What a weirdo!
Kat, sorry, this one is long. I get pissed about that subject too!
So I like Seacrest too, but sometimes he has morons on his show. You would rock the world of radio if he had you on kat! Anyway, I have lots to say on the subject. Once again, there are people (doctors, professionals) that want to make childbirth and women who go threw it a bad/gross thing. When the he-- did it become okay for men to get us pregnant, and then begrudge us our physical changes after they got us there? Is our physical change a disgrace?? They want the kids but they dont want us to change? I would love to see how they make that work! I am not surprised though. These are people "teaching" about data without any boundaries. I would like to know if these men they studied that cheat ever loved thier wives? Did they believe in god and the sanctity of marriage? Are they perfect/handsome/ un streched since the day of marriage themselves? Are they smart? I doubt any of the answers are yes! I am disgusted that because we have to do the birthing that we are labled dammaged and distorted physically by loosers like that Dr. I wonder if he has done a study on how many women are disgusted and maybe even cheat on their husbands after having kids because he got her pregnant, complained about her weight gain durring and after the baby, left her to do all of the work at home (and complained that she did not do enough), lost his hair and got a gut because all he does is work, has no connection to his kids because he thought viewing the birth would make his sex life suffer, and ultimately chose to cheat with someone that looks like their 14 year old daughter now, that will later suffer the same fate that their woman did with childbirth. I say screw them all! The professionals, the men that believe that crap, and the women that buy into it. Those men dont deserve women that honor the sanctity of birth. They should hook up with the ladies that only adopt kids because they can have them but opt not to strech out their bodies.
It only makes me glad that I picked a man that honors my role as mother, is amazed at what I could do durring child birth, and makes me feel beautiful even when I am no longer un changed. Yeah,my boobs are lower, my butt saggs a little now and I am not pre baby perfect like I once was. For him and his non complaints, I will work out, tighten up, lift what needs lifting and stay beautiful because I feel beautiful. Sex has never been a problem or missing in our home. Hence our second child on the way. He finds me beautiful even when I dont because he knows I brought our child here at great pain and suffering on my part. I am glad I did it and revere the marks it makde. Any man that cant handle seeing that and the baby arriving should not be a father! Well, that is all for now. Have a good day Kat. Thanks for getting me riled up.
Yes, this guy was an OB/GYN and has been practicing for a long time.
One man called in who said his wife gave just gave birth and she is more beautiful than ever.
The rest of the callers were women abbandoned by their boyfriends after childbirth....well if they didn't marry you in the first place why would a baby seal the deal? Hmmm.
I just want to protect the sacredness of family and marriage! I feel like we should represent the small few that stay together because we love God, our spouse, and the blessing of being together as a family.
Okay - one major thing I can't agree with you on is the Seacrest thing. Really... you'd use the word "love"? Okay. I guess if I have a major hot crush on Conan Obrien, it is possible for the universe to allow RS to be loved and adored as well.
As for the baby/divorce thing, give me a break. Now we all know child birth is one crazy picture show, but the miracle of it all is overwhelming and beautiful in it's own way.
Why this doctor obviously doesn't know what he's talking about, I don't think all the blame can be pointed at men losing interest either.
I think a lot of times, the struggle to be mom and then snap your magic fingers and suddenly be the irresistible love bug that you once were to your spouse is a hard one. But, sometimes I think we, as women, need to be aware that often times, with children - the father and spouse is the first one to be put on the back burner... along with taking care of yourself and appearance, and making that effort to keep the "flame" going, while as hard as it is - is vital to a marriage and a family.
So why it is easy to point the finger at "distorted female anatomy", I don't think this is where the problem lies.
We all have our work cut out for us... as mom's as parents. If we don't continue to make that unbreakable bond between our spouses - to give that kind of structure, love and supportive atmosphere for our children - they don't stand a chance.
Has anyone ever left you this long of a response? I think I should win a prize.
Emily and Sarah win the prize for longest and greatest responses. They pretty much summed up how I feel about this... needless to say, it pisses me off. Really. Why in the hell is everyone so quick to blame something that doesn't even resemble accountability. We could all be "guilt-free" if we could go back 50 years and blame whatever you want because it-was-so-long-ago-no-one-will-be-offended-and-no-one-be-be-responsible-ever. What in the hell is wrong with the world? Why can't we just say that maybe infidelity is a really big problem that can't be resolved in one sweeping motion? You know, the older I get the more I'm completely I'm convinced that this lack of accountability is America's biggest and worst sin.
WOW! Yeah...so wrong. I was so disappointed when I had to have a c-section, and actually two, because I felt Ned and I were actually missing out on a beautiful experience I had always hoped to share with my spouse. So although we are fine with the way things have turned out, it is very disappointing to find that others think that way, it is unimaginable to me! Trully!
I think that doctor was probably a supporter of "no on 8." That really makes me sad. I'm not a mother and keven isn't a father (obviously) but i would like to think that creating something so beautiful together would be something that would increase your love for each other. As Keven put it, "child birth has nothing to do with men cheating. Those 'men' were scared to be fathers in the first place." I hate how people use so many excuses! oh man...i'm getting annoyed right now! i hate how the doctor said it like "shame on women for having children. it's your fault the man cheated!" I wonder if that Doctor is married and what his excuse will be when his wife cheats on him for saying that idiotic statement!
I feel like a super star getting singled out by Chelsea :)
And, we all do have our own way...looks like my way of teachign prevention worked.
I love Ryan Seacrest.
I'm interested to see what Jon says about this article....I'll send it to him.
But, I hate that doctor, and I think that having babies and children, in any way (vaginal, C-section, adoption - whatever), are the reason GOOD relationships become GREAT.
I think watching Danielle go through the whole pregnancy thing was amazing and beautiful and I mean everything. It is crazy to see everything that Danielle went through to get our children here. All the morning sickness wierd cravings and stretch marks (which i can sympathize with because I grew very quickly so I have my fair share). So I guess what I am trying to say is if my wife is willing to make such a sacrifice the least I can do is hold a leg up so she can push a baby out. Men who can't do that one little thing should stop being a bunch of wussys.
That was Jon....
Yeah, I'm sorry Katrina but I've got to say something here and I'm sorry if it's too much.
I couldn't find who Ryan talked to for sure, but I'm fairly positive it was Michael Odent- an OBGYN that shares this view (you can google him and read his ridiculous articles). After reading this blog and the comments and talking to my wife about it, I've come to my own conclusion:
It was in the early 1960's that an interest in having men in the delivery room began according to Mr. "I think I know everything about vaginas." Also according to him it was in the early 1970's when it really took hold and by the end of that decade, "women couldn't imagine not having their husbands present for childbirth."
Do you know what else started in the early 1960's and peaked in the 1970's? The sale of Playboy Magazines. That's when pornography really began to saturate our society and men began seeing a heightened vision of what a female body "should be." Infidelity and divorce have not risen because men have entered the delivery room- it's because they've entered the chat room. They engage themselves in this filth and get led away one dirty step at a time.
So you're going to pawn it off on men being in the delivery room? Wow. In all your education and all your "experience" in the delivery room you've really come to a conclusion here. Open your eyes you idiot. I'd be happy to represent any and all men and women you've ever tried to share this absurd idea with and do what they probably wanted to do but were unable to: kick you in your bean bag and tell you to find a new job, because looking at vaginas all day has made you believe you have one.
That brakes my heart. I hate what Satan has done to women and our self-esteem. The first problem would be that these men view woman as sex objects, and not as companians. Even if your husband tells you how beautiful and amazing you are after having a baby, I am sure, most of the women out there, feel terrible about their self image. Flabby, loose,(yes, loose, as in your vagina) fat, and so not yourself. Putting this Jackhole's opinion on the airwave, will only add to the post issues we already go through!
HA! Seriously, don't get me started. What a joke.
Rock on, Tony!!
love is not about body parts. It is a connection and a commitment.
I actually saw an Oprah show about sex a few months back and there was a couple with that exact issue, but at least this man stayed married and was working through the issue. Whether or not a man is disturbed with what happens to their wife's "v" during childbirth isn't the point, it's what they choose to do about it. There are so many things we as moms have so see and deal with FREQUENTLY that are QUITE disturbing to many of us... poop, pee, vomit, blood, guts, serious injuries, and illnesses. I myself do not enjoy any of those thing but I do it, get past it, and move on. And I sure as hell don't use it as a excuse to love my kids less, look at them differently, treat them poorly or leave them. A good man, even if a little squeamish to the whole childbirth process understands the big picture "FAMILY" and can move on. The shallow, poor excuse for a man that was looking for a free pass to cheat all along just uses childbirth as the excuse. He was going to do it anyway and childbirth was just the excuse that worked!! The real problem is the serious lack of good men, and the breakdown of the family unit in our world today!!
WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!!!!!
Aside from my angry/yelling/profane response above, that makes me sad! And now because this lunatic "Doctor" has so many people supporting his ridiculous theory, everyone is going to think it's an excuse for their infidelities (past, present, OR to come...).
Obviously, child birth is something that is supposed to be shared and experienced by both mother AND father - and can likewise only HELP a relationship grow stronger. Look at how weird and disjointed marital relationships used to be back when this act of "men waiting outside the delivery room" was the norm. The basties also expected their wife to emulate Donna Reed! (Not that there's anything wrong with Donna Reed - as long as SHE is the one choosing to do so.)
Yikes, I've gone on too long. But AWE-SOME post, Kat.
Wow.... that's pretty much the most rediculous thing I have ever heard! A real MAN knows that beauty lies within and a real MAN appreciates his wife or girlfriend for giving birth to his child! This Dr. is pretty shallow. I often listen to the show and get really annoyed at some of the things callers have to say. Like the attitude that it's their spouses fault they cheated (because they got fat or whatever)... no, it's their fault! You can't blame someone else for your wrong choice. Come on people, live up to your commitments! Sad world we live in sometimes.
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